10.

I was taking a taxi home today and I got this taxi driver who just like TALKED non-stop. I was a combination of "OMG why won't you stop talking??" and "OMG how are you talking non-stop? Impressive." He was really super friendly. First he talked about how cars shouldn't park along roads and how narrow some roads were. Which lead to him talking about how his neck was very painful because he had had to turn his head around to do his however-many-point-turn. Because apparently when you sit in an air-conditioned car for too long your blood clots. Secretly when he said that I wondered why he couldn't just turn off the friggin freezing air-con because it was actually so cold in his taxi his windows were practically fogging up. But in the end I decided on a quiet oh really and an encouraging nod. Which actually turned out to be part of the amazing-ness of his little monologue. I didn't even say anything! Just very neutral "oh really"s and sage-like "oh I see, I see"s. But he then went on to say how meditation really helps pain. And how he was a monk for a while. And how a monk's life is not so easy you know. And that they have dharmas or something. And wait wait, did he go straight? Yes. Okay, and there are worry dharmas and something dharmas and something else dharmas and something something else dharmas. And then he talked about his netts machine. And how you had to be in open spaces. And did I want to try using the netts machine -- it was very good and takes people's money very fast. And then he explained to me why he was taking the route he was taking. And did he turn right here? Yes. Okay, and also did he mention before how fatty and greasy foods really help with the blood clotting. AND THEN he decided he would SHOW me how to do the neck stretching exercises. You tilt your head to the left for 30 seconds, the right for 30 seconds (at this point, YES he is not looking at the road to my horror. Not straight on anyways. But wait, it gets worse.) , up for 30 seconds, and ready ready.... DOWN for 30 seconds. So basically he didn't look at the road almost at all for 2 MINUTES. It was like a scene out of the crazy taxi driver arcade game. I nearly had a heart attack. I also had a Mcwings meal and was sitting in an igloo taxi which, according to Mr. taxi driver, essentially meant I was in prime blood clotting condition. i.e. I really was not in a good condition to receive this extremely stressful situation. He then proceeded to make a series of jokes about teachers being dishonest (lao3 shi1 bu4 lao3 shi2, get it get it? -.- Sigh.) and then tell me that he was very impressed I lived in a house. I should sit in taxis more often. Lol.