I have 10 mins to kill before I head up for class so I'm sitting at the sofas in school and there's this exchange student in front of me talking on skype to some relative or maybe girlfriend or boyfriend. Although I suppose a girlfriend slash boyfriend is also relatively a relative.

Anyways, it reminds me of being away from home, in the boarding house. Of course we didn't even have skype in school though. Apparently it costs a lot. On hindsight I miss the environment quite a lot, but I choose the comfort of being around my family and the people I love the most any day. There's something about being able to just say I love you anytime, to be able to be yourself completely, be a freak and still be accepted and loved and to be able to physically see and touch the people who you love and who love you back. Makes it easier to get through the day. Makes time go faster than when you're alone in your cubicle of a room in the boarding house. It's so werid but one of the memories I have from boarding school is the feeling of really wanting to be hugged. I think I tried skyping on weekends for a while but I just gave up after a while because it just felt really awkward. I hate seeing myself on the computer screen. Ugly. Haha. And I end up scrutinising how I looked more than anything. But I think if we hadn't been so lucky as to have been able to fly up and down to see each other so often I might have eventually gotten over my narcissism.

In any case, today is just one of those days where I am happy. When you read this in conjunction with my last post I realise this makes me sound a bit bi-polar but oh well. Haha. I'm not kay. I'm not! Really I'm not! I'M NOT. D: Haha.

Tried to catch up on my readings today. Cherissa and I have a date with the dean's list this year (my foot). But as it were my body decided that it had better things to do, cue this splitting migrane that I've been having since the early afternoon. Story of my life. But I took a few pain killers gave myself a few hours for a nap and dinner and should probably head back to try and read some more or at least start on my tutorials soon.

It's been a week since the start of the new academic year and already I want to escape again. In fact I don't really remember how I made it through year one (mostly facebooking through lectures, copying muggers for tutorials and sleeping in between). Probably why they tell you you should choose a course your interested in. I feel like I'm on a 4 year bad date with the ugliest more boring and obnoxious man child possibly conceiveable. Just the continuous pain of wanting to be anywhere but here constantly, then, now and all the time. Maybe my headache today is a physical manifestation. Some psychosomatic symptom of my inner frustration at this retarded course. Yuck. Whatever the cause, the pain is making me a grumpy bunny.

Generally I try to remind myself not to whine too much. Life is not as bad as all that. There's stuff to be thankful for along the way as there always is and has always been in every phase of my life. Best to just suck it up and make the best out of where I am now. Today is just a grumpy day. Where everything is just slightly irritating but not irritating enough for me to be fully pissed, just enough for me to on edge. My dad of course conveniently attributes my headache and irritability to pms. -.-

To relieve some of my exams stress I have intermittenly been making friendship bands. But because I take a lot of breaks and I'm usually at home alone I have a lot and I just put them on myself. High five.

Mei: (in reality she said my friendship band on my wrist looked weird but I'm rewriting this part) WOW. Your friendship band on your wrist looks awesome! :D :D :D
Me: I have more on my ankle want to see? :D (reveals the super awesome collection of friendship bands on my ankle)
Mei: Wow. If you make anymore you don't have to wear clothes anymore. Just friendship bands all around your body.

In the name of pretending to study. RANDOM FACEBOOK NOTE QUESTIONS! AGAIN!!!! <3

"Have you ever's"

Fell asleep in the arms of the opposite sex?
Yes. Hoho scandal.

Ever physically fought with a member of the opposite sex?
YES. -.- Have you seen how small I am. It would feel more like a massage for whoever I was fighting. Or “fighting”.

Ever walked in on your friends having sex?
Not yet. It’s on my to do list. So friends... SOUND OUT! (-.- What type of question?)

Ever sang to the person you like?
Nope, but he’s heard me sing to other people.

Is there anyone who likes you?
Pretty sure. Haha.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Meh. Maybe.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Fat Boy.

Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
No.

What is/are your favorite color/s?
Blue and green.

Are you a shy person?
When I first meet people.

What are you excited for?
Life! HAHA.

Do you have memories that you want to forget?
I guess you learn from the rubbish stuff as well, so not really.

If you could cry right now, what would be the reason?
Cry. What’s this. Must maintain macho image lah.

Are you happy?
Sure. :]

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I hope so. Haha.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Shorts.

Do you hate seeing happy couples?
Um, YES. Especially when I look in the mirror.

If you went to jail, who would bail you out?
My mum, I guess. I think. I hope.

How tall are you?
153cm. Shuddup.

When was the last time you were actually happy?
I’m quite happy all the time one lah. Haha.

How long does it take you in the morning to fix your hair?
2 seconds. No seriously.

Have you ever played spin the bottle?
Yah.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
Yupp.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Fortunately, no.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?
One.

Have you ever wondered how they make lines in toothpaste?
I figured out how they do it from the discovery channel. I think it’s more interesting that some random bo liao person THOUGHT of the idea of making the lines though. Freak.

Do you ever feel curious about how people see you?
Sure.

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
I’ll look into my schedule. See when I can fit my next kiss in and get back to you.

Do you find smoking unattractive?
Yeah, but strangely I find the lingering smell after attractive. Don’t ask me how that works. But still lah. Don’t smoke kids. Bad for your health.

Who was your crush in 5th grade?
LOL. I CANNOT REMEMBER. I liked a lot of people.

What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone?
I dunno. I think even if stuff like that doesn’t work out, you learn from the experience as well so. NO FEAR. WOOT. Haha. Aiyoh. Don’t overthink, please.

Have you ever suspected anyone cheating on you?
Who would cheat on me lah please. Haha. But yeah, no.

Do you remember who you liked on New Years?
Yah. Chew.

Are you someone who worries too often?
Lol. I don’t think so.

Could things possibly get any better?
Better is relative I’m happy where I am now lah.

Have you consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours?
No.

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday?
No. Heng. Thanks.

Have you ever been in a car accident?
Not yet. We will see. Lol.

If you could have something right now, what would it be?
I have no idea what you’re asking. Haha.

Do you like sushi?
Sure.

What can you currently hear?
DAVID ARCHCULETA’S ZERO GRAVITY!!! <3<3<3

Whats the last pinkie promise you made, and to who?
HAHA. Jian kai and chee yao. That they would read my now deleted post and not tell anyone about it. We ACTUALLY pinkie promised.

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?
Ew. No. Thanks.

Is there anyone home?
I think so. I’m not sure.

The person you fell hardest for died today, how would you feel?
Aiyoh. What type of sadistic quesstion.

Have you kissed someone in 09 that means a lot to you?
I’m sure you’d like to know.

Something tragic just happened, does your facial expression show it?
I guess I’d just look stoned. As usual.

Do you miss someone?
I know you miss me more.

So, what do you want for your birthday?
Chew. Muackz.

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
My heart. Pining for.... CHEW!

Would you ever work at McDonalds?
I DID. HAHA.

Are any of your Facebook TOP friends gay/bi/ lesbian?
Haha. Not that I know.

Would you care if you saw the person you like, kissing someone else?
YES. Haha.

Did you see a boy today that made you smile?
Yupp, I stared for a while... Then I went to meet charles. JKJK.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Pretending to study.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Mum bought it.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow?
Um... how bout, NO.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
Probably.

Do you love anyone right now?
Love is a big word.

Is it easy to make you cry?
No.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yes.

Were you happy when you woke up?
No. I’m never a happy bunny when I wake up.

Does the person you like, like you back?
Yah. :]

If any, name a lyric from the song you're listening to?
ZERO GRAVITY!!!

Do you want someone to call you right now?
Will that make me popular? Then, YES.

If someone liked you right now would you want to know?
Sure. Lol.

Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
Not really.

When was the last time you had butterflies?
When I looked in the mirror. HAHA.

Who do you want to see right now?
Got mirror annot?

Did you mean "I love you" when you said it last?
I rarely say it. Haha. Probably last said it to my mum so yah, I guess I did.

Do you get upset over the opposite sex easily?
No.

When you say you don't care do you mean it?
Not always. But most of the time lah.

What would you do if someone called you handsome/beautiful?
Say thanks I guess.

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
I smiling threshold very low one lah.

Who wαs the lαst person you hαd α deep conversαtion with?
Charles.

Where were you αt 4:00 this morning ?
Um, sleeping. Sorry I not so hardcore.

Whαt's the cd in your plαyer?
I always burn my own.

Cαn you count to ten in more thαn one lαnguαge αnd whαt lαnguαge?
English and Chinese. Sorry, science student lah.

Who is the lαst person to tell you they love you?
My mum?

Did you kiss or hug αnyone todαy?
HAHA. Who’s asking?

Is your current hαir color mostly your nαturαl hαir colour?
No. Lian.

Is your bed big enough for you?
NEVER.

Whαt wαs the reαson behind the lαst time you lαughed?
When I saw myself in the mirror. I’m too ridiculously good looking liao.

Hαve you ever lαughed so hαrd you cried?
Yeah.

What is your favourite thing αbout being sick?
Can sleep more. Much, much more.

Do you look αt the keyboαrd when you type?
Not really.

When wαs the lαst time someone confessed to liking you?
KPO.

Is it eαsy for others to mαke you feel αwkwαrd?
Yah.

Do you like to look up αt the stαrs αt night?
Singapore got stars meh. This question fail.

Bright or dαrk room?
Dark.

Me: Oh man, go home and do work liao. Diee. Yesterday I slacked off some more, so today I have EXTRA SUPER A LOT of work to do. Sigh.
Poh poh: (in all seriousness) Eh, but your law school work... can bullshit one annot?

HAHAHA. I've NEVER heard her use that kind of language before. LOL. I love my family man.

My friends as well. Haiz. Haha. My daily overdose of spasticness.

Joelle: (to some random pseudo-insult which I can't for the life of me recall now) I PUT CHILLI IN YOUR EYE MAN.
Chee Yao: Eh (shakes head) wah lau, your husband next time very poor thing leh. (proceeds to act out the whole scene...) Go to work, then people ask him, eh why your eye so red?? Oh, my wife put chilli in my eye.

What the?? Thank you for your intellectual comment chee yao.

Charles: But I know I'm your favourite prince lah.

THICK SKINNED MUCH. Gao wei. Haha. There were many other spastic instances abound, but I'm lazy to document them all. Haha. Some other time maybe. I need to go and read my notes now though. Haha. SLACK. I'm dead. But today was a good day. A really really good. day. :]

I've decided that law school is gross. There's a ridiculous amount of mugging and a general aura of hardworkingness around. And while that's nice and lovely for all these nerds here I've decided that since I can't keep up anyways, I may as well aim to pass and place the fragile eggs of my future in the solid marry-a-rich-dean's-lister-husband-so-I-can-be-a-tai-tai basket. Steady. (pom pee pee. The other day I was talking to cheryl on msn and I spelt it as bom bee bee. Which received a surprisingly violent attack on my poor spelling from her. Happy now cheryl? Happy! HAPPY??!!! Lol.)

I haven't blogged in precisely a month. Haha. Rusty, rusty. My thoughts are all over the place. But given that I've given up on law school, don't worry fans, I shall have much more time to share my awesome thoughts with the world. Rejoice.

Rag was sooo much fun. Much eediocy slash spasticness. But I've really been blessed with all the raggers. I feel like inadeqaute and awesome at the same time whenever I'm around them man. Very weird. Haha. They're all these amazingly talented brilliant super funny lovely people (don't tell them I said that though. Stupid ego freaks. Haha.) and I can't help but love all of them muchly. Muackz wox. Haha.

Okay, stop stop. Before I become all gay and mushy.

BUT (at this point, I'm switching to emo mood. My teenage hormones require of it of me.). I don't really think I'm meant to be here. I'm struggling to get the bare minimum done. I'm really glad I met all these fantastic people here and I love them so so much, but I hate it here. I'm sorry but I do. I hate the work. I hate knowing that I'll never be able to really give my time to singing or acting or researching random animals that no one reeally cares about. Because now I have to read about contract and torts and international relations, per quod servitium amisit, loss of consortium, Scott, Jones v Browns (that's pronounced Jones AND Browns), Spandeck Engineering...

And I don't know what I'm doing agian. I think for a while the novelty of everything, being in school with new people and new things to do made me think that maybe it'd be alright. But it's not. And I'm not doing okay. I wake up every morning and I just wait the day through. I wait so that I can go back to sleep and not wake up tomorrow because I hate law school. I don't want to do well and I'm not worried because I really don't care.

I'm really trying to focus my attention on other things. I just joined NUS choir. Which is fun. Yayy. Haha. But it's not really enough to keep me going. I dunno lah. I just feel empty. Like directionless. Very menopausal. If I were 50 and becoming periodless, I would assume this is about how I would feel.

Life should be more than this right. I shouldn't be waiting my way through it. There were tons of other people dying to get into law school. Like why would God put me here and not them. I'm not like everyone else here. I'm not driven, I'm not particularly smart (I could go on for a while but then I'd just start to sound loserish. Haha.)... I'm the closet geek who makes you laugh (tries lah) and knows random quite interesting facts about animals (I seriously do, I spend my subject prize book voucher on a book about them last year. Lol.). I'm not the rafflesian from law school. I'm just not. And there's nothing I can do about it. But I can't stand not doing anything either. Everyday I draft up some new exciting plan to run away. I'm 18 though, I shouldn't be thinking how much my life sucks yet. I'm not even anywhere near midlife crisis. And yet, my depressed-o-meter is on an all time high. I dunno. Maybe it's culture shock as well. Two years away has left me sorely and utterly behind in the academic motivation department.

Usually I would sleep this type of stuff over. But law school, no time to sleep also. :(

And there's all this other rubbish as well that bothering me muchly. But inappropriate to mention here. Haha. Whoa, first entry in a month and all this angst. Nevermind, nevermind. In the name of practicing communicating my thoughts and ideas with clarity and precision lah huh.

Ahem. (Must clear throat for this announcement. That's how exciting it is. Wait for it, wait for it...)

After years of the topic being in fierce deliberation, today I finally dyed my hair blue. Two streaks from the side of my head behind both my ears. They're not very noticable but you can still see it. Okay lah, I was bit chicken and did only thin streaks and at the sides so I can hide if I want and people won't stare at me weirdly. But still, rebel ah? Naice. I'm not pro enough a camwhore to be able to take a blog-worthy photo of my hair but think CJC shirt blue. But, yes. I feel like my life is complete now. Joy.

Then, we went black angus at btc for my early birthday dinner. Yumm. I wasn't in full form because I'm not feeling too good today. Slept the whole afternoon away. But we had a good meal together which was fun. I think my grandmother may have had a bit too much wine over dinner though:

Mum: "You're eating all the cookie base off mei's cake, poh poh. Eat more of the whole cake."
Poh poh: "I thought it tasted like coffee."
Everyone: *cue "HUH?? We catch no ball." face.
Grandpa: -.- (steps in to explain, obviously accustomed to years of her randomness) "You see, poh poh speaks in riddles."

Poh poh: (points at the saddle above the entrance) "You all see, that's a black angus. The head of a black angus."
Everyone: ....
Mei: "That's... a saddle."
Poh poh: "Oh. HAHA. I thought the centre was the head and flaps at the side were just very very large ears."

LOL. You light up my life, poh.

Oh, and it has been brought to my attention that I should probably revise my sense of fashion. SOON. Yesterday, and the privateer girls got our golden pampers (the final and BEST part of our costume) to bring home after rag.

My maid took it out of my bag and... put it in my closet with all my shorts. Apparently the lovely bloomers look like something I would employ in my everyday look. This is in comparision to audrey's hwa chong PE shirt (I borrowed it from her to wear on friday since we decided that yesterday was hwa chong day! Hurray. Go see facebook photos.) which my maid decided probably wasn't something I would wear (not smart enough, is it. IS IT.) and put on the chair in our room. -.-